So, maybe you’re lounging around on the sticky leather couch, letting the sense of relief wash over you, realizing that you’ve won and not only have you won, but you no longer have to pretend to have a stomach ache. No School for this 8th grader! And where is dad? Why, he’s just at the video store renting Practical Magic and Mask of Zorro because he, weirdly enough, has also been stricken by a sudden and, most likely, passing illness, which has rendered him unable to travel any farther away from home than the strip mall across the highway. What a cad.
So, maybe now you’re watching Practical Magic with your dad and you have the following conversation: “who do you like better, Sandra Bullock or Nicole Kidman?” “Touch call.” “Yeah, I think Nicole Kidman is prettier, but Sandra Bullock has more personality.” “I totally agree.” Maybe this is the most you’ve genuinely related to your father since that time when you were 6 and he asked you what you were thinking about and you said you were thinking about how you wished you knew how to make one of those paper fortune tellers and he was shocked because just the other day he had seen one of his students playing with one and had thought he should find out how and then show you, which he, ultimately, didn’t because he was beaten to the punch by some snot nosed kid in your class and, thereby, robbed of a bonding experience.
So, there you are on the couch, half paying attention to the tv and half indulging in this train of thought… “Why is this movie directed by Griffin Dunne? Do you think he knows how good American Werewolf in London is? If he only knew how much I cried at the end of My Girl, he might think I were really sensitive.” Suddenly, you realize, this guy directed Addicted to Love! Only one of your very favorite movies of 1997! Woah, what is going to happen to these damn witches? Well, twelve years later, you’re not going to remember what happened to those damn witches. Sorry. But you will remember that watching Practical Magic with your dad was a really good idea. Don’t even get me started on Mask of Zorro. Let’s just say, go Practical Magic or go home. Wait! You are at home in this scenario. Go Practical Magic or go to school, you crazy kid!
Stay tuned for a hypothetical yarn in which you watch Old School with your dad, perched in silent horror as Andy Dick gives a blowjob to a banana.
Watch it with someone you find bewitching...like your dad!
