Thursday, July 29, 2010
SALTY SITUATION
After eating a salted caramel piece of pie and chasing it down with a margarita with a salt rim, a few friends (including fellow popcorn prophecy blogette, Kate) decided to put salt in our wounds and buy tickets to the first screening ever of SALT, the movie at midnight on Thursday, July 22 (shout out to my daddy whose birthday it was when we did this). We salted our watches and met up in front of the AMC (location undisclosed) that SALT, the movie was playing at. Armed with popcorn with a lot of salt and some diet coke to wash it down, we headed to the movie theater it was playing in an hour early, so as to get the best salts in the house. When we arrived, there were many questions and games on the movie screen. Questions like: DID YOU KNOW PAUL RUDD WAS A BAR MITZVAH DJ BEFORE HE WAS AN ACTOR? COME SEE DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS. This makes sense, because schmucks is a jewish word as far as I know and paul rudd has experience with jews at bar mitzvahs.
After finishing our popcorn our toungues feeling very salty. we decided to play 20 questions. Then, the lights dimmed and some trailers came on. None of them were for SALT, the movie because that’s what we were there to see. Also, the sound didn’t work when they played.
After leaving the theater I caught up with one of the moviegoers, Kate (ppb), and asked her a few questions.* Her answers are below:
How did you find out about SALT, the movie?
The posters and then the trailer.
When you bought tickets in advance for SALT, the movie, did you expect it to be crowded?
yes
When you got there, was it crowded?
no
Who was your favorite person that you saw SALT, the movie with?
The woman behind us who kept talking about Chinese food during the pre movie trivia.
It’s been said that Angelina Jolie is the prettiest person in the world. Was she still equally beautiful in SALT, the movie?
I haven’t seen salt, the movie. But she looks very pretty in the poster and in the trailer.
Who was your favorite character in SALT, the movie?
I’m guessing, salt.
Were the Russian spies a good tie-in for SALT, the movie?
Yes. I cracked the case.
If you had to pick one scene from SALT, the movie and re-make it in, like, a filmmaking class or acting class, what scene would you pick?
The scene from the trailer where salt is interviewing the Russian spy and then at the end of the scene she asks who is going to kill the president and he says the name of the agent is salt and then she runs away.
If one line from SALT, the movie was to be your mantra, what line would it be?
I just want to know where my husband is.
How were the SFX in SALT, the movie?
I haven’t seen salt, but I think they are good.
What was your favorite action move from SALT, the movie?
running
Was there excessive nudity in SALT, the movie?
Only time will tell.
What did the score for SALT, the movie evoke for you?
I haven’t seen salt.
Who is Salt?
I don’t know.
* Ed Note: SALT, the movie never played. the projector broke.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
A Conversation I Overheard Between M. Night Shyamalan and His Old Friend
"Do you still watch movies?"
"Do I what?"
"Do you still even go to the movies. Do you remember what you used to like about movies? Or do you just watch the last ten minutes of Twilight Zone episodes every night before you go to sleep"
"I've seen movies"
"Name one good movie in the last 5 years"
"Well, I thought that The Hap..."
"No, movies that you didn't make"
"oh"
(pause)
"I thought Terminator Salvation was pretty heartfelt. I saw it in a theater w/ rumble seats. One of the theaters in my house actually. McG came over and I gave him notes"
"What were your notes like?"
"Oh, I just told him it's fine as it is, but maybe add like a Young Arnold Terminator to it. A CGI Arnold"
"He did"
"Oh good"
"yeah, great"
"What's this all about"
"M. I gotta ask you, do you care what people think about you?"
"Sure"
"Do you read what people say about your movies?"
"I like to read the FRESH reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. Well I get my assistant to highlight the juicy parts, heh heh no pun intended"
"pun?"
"Juicy. Like a tomato. Hold on, let me write that joke down"
"You should read more reviews."
"Why?"
"You are wasting the time and money of people turning a hard economic time."
"The economy isn't so good?"
"The economy isn't so good."
"Well here's the thing. Even if some of the reviews are bad. I think history will reveal my gift. People just aren't ready yet. Maybe they are just focused on filling their bellies and not their minds right now"
"Here's the thing. Your movies aren't classics waiting to be discovered. They aren't being mistreated. At best, AT BEST, someone down the road, years from now, will watch these movies you've been making and say 'ah that wasn't THAT bad'. That's what you have given the future generation of viewers"
"What do you suggest then?"
"I dunno, use your money for good. Start an orphanage or something"
"For some reason that suggestion comes across as racist"
"It's not"
"Listen, time is money and you are wasting my time, therefore my money. I need to get on this conference call to talk with interviewers down at Comic Con. They are really interested in this great new movie I'm presenting."
(man pulls out a gun)
"Wait. Wait. What are you doing with that gun!? Put it down. Put it down!"
"Say nighty night, M Night"
(shoots gun, but the gun turns out to be full not of bullets but of angel particles. These particles come out of the gun, form into a blessed beautiful angel and lift M. Night by his arms, taking him to the top of a nearby mountain top, where a throne is waiting for him. He looks down upon the towns below and smiles)
"I forgive you all"
(True Story: After this photo was taken, the style of sweaters seen here rocketed in popularity, and that is why we now all call turtles "m.nights")
"Do I what?"
"Do you still even go to the movies. Do you remember what you used to like about movies? Or do you just watch the last ten minutes of Twilight Zone episodes every night before you go to sleep"
"I've seen movies"
"Name one good movie in the last 5 years"
"Well, I thought that The Hap..."
"No, movies that you didn't make"
"oh"
(pause)
"I thought Terminator Salvation was pretty heartfelt. I saw it in a theater w/ rumble seats. One of the theaters in my house actually. McG came over and I gave him notes"
"What were your notes like?"
"Oh, I just told him it's fine as it is, but maybe add like a Young Arnold Terminator to it. A CGI Arnold"
"He did"
"Oh good"
"yeah, great"
"What's this all about"
"M. I gotta ask you, do you care what people think about you?"
"Sure"
"Do you read what people say about your movies?"
"I like to read the FRESH reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. Well I get my assistant to highlight the juicy parts, heh heh no pun intended"
"pun?"
"Juicy. Like a tomato. Hold on, let me write that joke down"
"You should read more reviews."
"Why?"
"You are wasting the time and money of people turning a hard economic time."
"The economy isn't so good?"
"The economy isn't so good."
"Well here's the thing. Even if some of the reviews are bad. I think history will reveal my gift. People just aren't ready yet. Maybe they are just focused on filling their bellies and not their minds right now"
"Here's the thing. Your movies aren't classics waiting to be discovered. They aren't being mistreated. At best, AT BEST, someone down the road, years from now, will watch these movies you've been making and say 'ah that wasn't THAT bad'. That's what you have given the future generation of viewers"
"What do you suggest then?"
"I dunno, use your money for good. Start an orphanage or something"
"For some reason that suggestion comes across as racist"
"It's not"
"Listen, time is money and you are wasting my time, therefore my money. I need to get on this conference call to talk with interviewers down at Comic Con. They are really interested in this great new movie I'm presenting."
(man pulls out a gun)
"Wait. Wait. What are you doing with that gun!? Put it down. Put it down!"
"Say nighty night, M Night"
(shoots gun, but the gun turns out to be full not of bullets but of angel particles. These particles come out of the gun, form into a blessed beautiful angel and lift M. Night by his arms, taking him to the top of a nearby mountain top, where a throne is waiting for him. He looks down upon the towns below and smiles)
"I forgive you all"
(True Story: After this photo was taken, the style of sweaters seen here rocketed in popularity, and that is why we now all call turtles "m.nights")
Friday, July 23, 2010
Natural Born Woodrow
Today is Woody Harrelson’s 49th birthday and I, for one, would like to celebrate him and his twenty plus years of baffling performances. He is, in my opinion, America’s best actor going; rivaled only in doofusey charm by Surfer, Dude co-star, Mathew McConaughey.
Three Cheers for Woody.
So, he owns an oxygen bar in West Hollywood and is friends with the Red Hot Chili Peppers…I’m into it.
If you haven’t already, check out The Walker: Paul Schrader’s 2007 non-hit. Harrelson plays an escort to some of Washington D.C.’s bitchiest society wives. Expect murder, scandal and that certain charisma that is so distinctly Woody's. (it is also Charisma Carpenter's birthday today.)
Happy birthday, Woody! (I love you.)
Three Cheers for Woody.
So, he owns an oxygen bar in West Hollywood and is friends with the Red Hot Chili Peppers…I’m into it.
If you haven’t already, check out The Walker: Paul Schrader’s 2007 non-hit. Harrelson plays an escort to some of Washington D.C.’s bitchiest society wives. Expect murder, scandal and that certain charisma that is so distinctly Woody's. (it is also Charisma Carpenter's birthday today.)
Happy birthday, Woody! (I love you.)
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Predators: Absolute Brody
What’s that in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? NO! It’s Adrien Brody hurtling towards the lush greenery of an alien planet. Thank goodness he figures out how to open his parachute in time, otherwise this movie might…be over really quickly which would be GREAT but then you would miss a few very exciting developments like the introduction of Topher Grace’s character who is, of all things, A NERD.
Who invited this nerd to the scary mercenary, cartel enforcer, yakuza, soldier, crazy death row inmate party in this mysterious jungle? NOBODY KNOWS. Come to think of it, nobody has any idea where they are at all, and no one can remember anything before having been shoved out of an airplane and left to free fall, just like Brody and, let me tell you, they are freaked.
Well, eventually they realize that they’re not even on the planet Earth and then they’re even more freaked but, at least, they’ve found their way to high ground which Brody keeps going on and on about and even his buddies are kind of like “Come on, Man. What is it with you and high ground?” And then soon, but not soon enough, if you ask me, they encounter some alien life. NOT A PREDATOR, mind you, but a kind of predator dog with scary tusks.
OK.
I’ll skip to the part where they encounter some genuine predators of which there are several varieties. There’s the classic predator. You know this guy! There’s the tracker predator. I found out that this guy existed during the credits but I’m not really sure what the difference between him and the next kind of predator is. And…then…there’s…the….BERSERKER PREDATOR!!!! This predator is obviously bat shit insane and does a lot of damage to this band of baddies (appropriate name for all but Topher Grace who is, again, a NERD, or so you think.)
So, you know, some stuff happens. Mostly, Adrien Brody takes his shirt off and screams and talks in a gravelly voice. Oh, and Laurence Fishburne shows up and is crazy and talks to an imaginary friend. Also, he claims to have been trapped on this alien planet for something approaching 10 years but he seems to have a really significant beer belly. He’s super well fed for a guy who spends most of his time running away from/hunting berserker predators, but whatever. I love it.
And that’s the movie. Sort of. A lot of other things happen but mostly, by the end, I was thinking…I wish their parachutes hadn’t opened at the beginning because that was a waste of time. But, I don’t want to be too hard on Predators…I’m going to give it an A or a B for Adrien Brody’s abs.
Who invited this nerd to the scary mercenary, cartel enforcer, yakuza, soldier, crazy death row inmate party in this mysterious jungle? NOBODY KNOWS. Come to think of it, nobody has any idea where they are at all, and no one can remember anything before having been shoved out of an airplane and left to free fall, just like Brody and, let me tell you, they are freaked.
Well, eventually they realize that they’re not even on the planet Earth and then they’re even more freaked but, at least, they’ve found their way to high ground which Brody keeps going on and on about and even his buddies are kind of like “Come on, Man. What is it with you and high ground?” And then soon, but not soon enough, if you ask me, they encounter some alien life. NOT A PREDATOR, mind you, but a kind of predator dog with scary tusks.
OK.
I’ll skip to the part where they encounter some genuine predators of which there are several varieties. There’s the classic predator. You know this guy! There’s the tracker predator. I found out that this guy existed during the credits but I’m not really sure what the difference between him and the next kind of predator is. And…then…there’s…the….BERSERKER PREDATOR!!!! This predator is obviously bat shit insane and does a lot of damage to this band of baddies (appropriate name for all but Topher Grace who is, again, a NERD, or so you think.)
So, you know, some stuff happens. Mostly, Adrien Brody takes his shirt off and screams and talks in a gravelly voice. Oh, and Laurence Fishburne shows up and is crazy and talks to an imaginary friend. Also, he claims to have been trapped on this alien planet for something approaching 10 years but he seems to have a really significant beer belly. He’s super well fed for a guy who spends most of his time running away from/hunting berserker predators, but whatever. I love it.
And that’s the movie. Sort of. A lot of other things happen but mostly, by the end, I was thinking…I wish their parachutes hadn’t opened at the beginning because that was a waste of time. But, I don’t want to be too hard on Predators…I’m going to give it an A or a B for Adrien Brody’s abs.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Menace II Society
A few nights ago, I watched Menace II Society. The film was directed by II brothers, Albert and Allen Hughes, who went on II direct several other movies. The most recent of these was The Book of Eli, starring Denzel Washington, which I was really dying II see but never got the chance II while it was in theaters. I plan II watch the DVD at my earliest convenience. Menace II Society was released in 1993 but I suspect that, at least, some of its principle shooting took place in 199II.
An interesting bit of trivia is that IIpac Shakur was slated II play a role in this film until he was fired for getting inII a fistfight with director, Allen Hughes. II verify this bit of trivia, please see that irrefutable font of facts without mistakes ever www.imdb.com.
II be honest, I really enjoyed watching this movie. I would give it II thumbs up, if that were my thing. Actually, speaking of Ebert, he was a big fan of this movie when it was released. According II the front of this DVD box, he found Menace II Society II be “one of the…most powerful movies” he’d ever seen. High praise, Ebert!
Check this movie out for excellent performances by Jada Pinkett Smith (Scream II), Charles S. Dutton (A Time II Kill), Larenz Tate (Why Do Fools Fall in Love?) and Tyrin Turner (Deep Cover) II name a few.
Really though, watch Menace II Society IIday. You won’t regret it and who knows? Tomorrow you might have something better to do, though I highly doubt it.
(II annoying?)
An interesting bit of trivia is that IIpac Shakur was slated II play a role in this film until he was fired for getting inII a fistfight with director, Allen Hughes. II verify this bit of trivia, please see that irrefutable font of facts without mistakes ever www.imdb.com.
II be honest, I really enjoyed watching this movie. I would give it II thumbs up, if that were my thing. Actually, speaking of Ebert, he was a big fan of this movie when it was released. According II the front of this DVD box, he found Menace II Society II be “one of the…most powerful movies” he’d ever seen. High praise, Ebert!
Check this movie out for excellent performances by Jada Pinkett Smith (Scream II), Charles S. Dutton (A Time II Kill), Larenz Tate (Why Do Fools Fall in Love?) and Tyrin Turner (Deep Cover) II name a few.
Really though, watch Menace II Society IIday. You won’t regret it and who knows? Tomorrow you might have something better to do, though I highly doubt it.
(II annoying?)
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